FROM STRANGERS TO SISTERS

The idea of meeting a stranger and making them believe that you are there for them is a hard task. I feel privileged to be a part of SEWA Youth Connect. This programme has given me a chance to experience something really challenging and different. At the same time, there is a lot to learn from it.

I still remember the first meeting with Prabha. We both were a bit nervous and excited. But today, after completing four months of this programme, I would say, I am lucky to have a mentee like her. Prabha is a sweet and caring girl. She has a supportive family. When it comes to her career, she is hard working, optimistic and focused.

Through our constant phone calls and meetings, we both have tried our best to strengthen our bond. I can see the curiosity to learn and explore in her. Her active participation in all the meetings encourages me to make our further meetings more interesting. There were hardly any situations where we had differences of opinion. I am happy that she is honest with me and share her problems. It’s not only Prabha; even I share my problems with her. The best thing about our bond is the understanding that we both have for each other.  She is no more a mentee for me but a younger sister. There have been moments of worry and there have been moments of pride. I was so happy when she told me that now she is comfortable and confident in travelling alone.

It is well said, if you light a lamp for someone, it will also brighten your path. I enjoyed the chance to have challenging discussions with Prabha. It made me realize how much knowledge and experience actually I have.

It will be rewarding to see Prabha achieve her goals and grow in confidence. I am thankful to SEWA Youth Connect for giving this opportunity to me.

SEWA YOUTH CONNECT VIDEO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjlEqY8TVZk

After a few days the first batch of SEWA Youth Connect will come to an end. This was a pilot project and we started this with just a hope that we will add something to the lives of the girls associated with SEWA. After 6 months we end up with experiences beyond imagination. We fill extremely happy to have made some changes in the lives of these young girls connected through YOUTH CONNECT. 

Students from Indraprastha College for Women, University of Delhi have created this video on YOUTH CONNECT capturing what the girls had to share about their journey so far. 

Selection for the next batch will begin soon. Watch this video and support our endeavour!

 Cheers to YOUTH CONNECT!

Spreading Her Wings

In the process of creating a hand holding relationship with Neelam, I accrued the role of a mentor to myself for the first time. Being the youngest one in the family, I didn't have enough precedents from my own life to base my relationship on. To bridge this gap, Violet, Program coordinator and later Tanvi, Program coordinator held numerous training sessions and one-on-one meetings with the mentors. And that's when I realized that mentoring relationship was taking place at more than one level. 

SEWA Youth Connect envisioned bringing together young girls from two opposite spectrum of life. Dr. Sanjay Kumar Singh, Director, SEWA Bharat, put it very eloquently as "realizing one's social responsibility by giving back resources that we have enjoyed at the cost of those who have been denied yet come so far". Thus, the mentor-mentee relationship is that of equalizing besides empowering. 

Neelam, when I met her first, was a timid young girl, just out of school. She reminded so much of me when I had first come to Delhi. I was nervous and scared. I could sense similar emotions in Neelam. As my relationship with her grew, I realized she has not been encouraged to be independent. She had comfortably accepted the fact that she isn't a thinking being. A lot of it, I would blame on typical educational pedagogy in our country that taught Neelam how to take exams but not how to think. In my capacity, I tried pushing Neelam to think alternatively and creatively. I bombarded her with questions, which she found silly and then intriguing. The pieces that I asked her to write may not be very high-sounding yet it reflects her individuality and her own thinking. 

Over the period of time, Neelam slowly reposed her trust in me and made me her confidant. This is what she wrote when I asked her about our relationship

"Mentor-mentee ka rishta ek teacher ki tarah hona chahiye jisse padhai me help kar sake aur ek dost ki tarah hona chahiye jisse mai apni har baat share kar saku. Mujhe aaj tak aisi mentor nahi mili jinse mai apni baat share kar saku. Jo baat mai ghar me kisi se share nahi kar pati, wo mai apne mentor se kar sakti hoon. Jab mai youth connect se judi toh maine socha bhi nahi tha ki mujhe itni saari nayi baatein pata chalengi, naye logon se baat karungi. Ab mai akele aa ja sakti hoon. Mujhme confidence aa gaya hai. Jab mai apne mentor se milne jati hoon, wo mujhe alag alag jagah le jati hain aur batati hain ki yeh jagah bahut purani hai, jaise agrasen ki baoli. wo mujhse kehati hai ki jo na pata ho wo kisi se bhi pooch lo bina jhijhke. Meri metor ne mujhe vaishvikaran itne achche se padhya ki mujhe aaj bhi yaad hain. Meri mentor mujhe apne aas paas safe atmosphere banae ke liye bolti hai". 

I take immense pride when Neelam immediately rises up from her seat to order coffee for both of us on our weekly meetings, something she was hesitant doing initially. She has shown evident signs of overcoming her hesitation and fears. She's catching up with spoken English because she feels intimidated by the fact that other people can speak English fluently while she can't. I encourage and help her to learn English however I make sure that she doesn't base her self-worth entirely on these superficial attributes. 

Six months ahead from when we had started, Neelam can now travel on her own. 
She laughs more often now. 
She writes. 
She paints. 
Most importantly, she is beginning to have an opinion on matters trivial or important. 

Neelam is growing. I am growing. 
Together, with SEWA, we are growing.

When we sat across the table...I and Neha!

As you may have guessed by now, this blog post is an account of how we went about with the mock interview, but as you will read, you will infer that it was indeed much more than just a mock interview.
It was... an experience
an epiphany
a revelation
a moment of realization.
Of late,  I had been talking a lot about how I want my mentorship to have some substantial achievement.
Now, it so happened, that as we had planned, we met on 21st April, the main agenda of our meeting being conducting a mock interview.
So, I showed her around my campus, and then we settled in a classroom, where after creating a formal ambiance, we conducted an interview. Now, this is the thing about conducting such a formal activity: It gave her practical and first-hand insights into how an interview is actually conducted. While the questions i threw up on her were the usual ones, the conventional:
Tell me something about yourself
Why should I hire you for this position?
Enlist your strengths and weaknesses.
What are your views on the current situation of fashion industry?
then, we proceeded with situational questions:
Suppose you had a low budget and you had to make a choice between the low-quality cheap fabric on one hand and expensive fabric which you were paid for, on the other, what would you do?
How would you deal with a last minute crisis such as duplication or/and copying of your designs by other designers?

And with each responses she gave and I recorded, we got a lot to discuss.
The interview was followed by a kind of feedback session, whereby I pointed out to her ow she needs to be focused on giving relevant answers and retaining her confidence simultaneously.
It was only in our meeting after this one, that Neha told me how she was feeling nervous with the kind of questions she was supposed to answer and how she feels better equipped with answers now that she has an idea about how and what type of details are scrutinized.
This was followed by a group discussion, for which it was essential to have another member in our discussion. So, I called up my friend and We randomly chose the topic "Social networking sites: Bane or boon (good or bad, for simplicity)". we launched into a heavy discussion for some 20 minutes, post which it was realised that current affairs and reading through issues of general concern are other areas we can work upon.

Our next meeting was on 23rd May, almost a month later (owing to my examinations although we did keep in decent touch/contact over the phone what with the marriage arrangements being done at her house).
We planned to meet at CP, and I told her I would take her to Oxford bookstore. Her late arrival by an hour gave us fodder for our discussion: the issue of punctuality. But before I plunge deeper into the details of what all our discussions entailed, let me tell you how she had felt there.
It was great to see her browsing through books, and she Even pinpointed to me a book Named "Reading Lolita in Tehran". The book's theme well blended with our motive. :-)
This, and then I asked her to place the order.
All in all, we carried forward our discussion about interview etiquette and professionalism.

I do hope this has made some difference, even if minuscule.

"One girl with Courage is a Revolution"

Thanks to the American Center for facilitating the screening of Girl Rising and inspiring us all. We saw the courage of our Youth Club girls as they took the stage and spoke about the movie, their experiences and the hero in each of us.

GIRLS ARE RISING INDEED!

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust... "

 

It may be an inevitable truth that we all come from dust and return to dust. The world will keep reminding you this fact over and over, in case you forget and, spread your wings too much and fly too far. 

But there are some girls in this world that defied this fact and did not surrender. They went on to prove that it is the journey between these two finite points that will still make us immortal; an extraordinary journey towards one's dreams. An indomitable spirit and unflagging enthusiasm decide whether we will kiss glory or taste the dust. Nine such determined girls chose to follow their hearts' desire and to never give up. Not even in circumstances that bereaved them of hope, momentarily. And this is how we got a soul-stirring documentary film- Girl Rising!

Girl Rising takes us into the lives of nine girls- Wadley, Amina, Ruksana, Yasmine and Sumi to name a few, who live in different parts of the world. Thanks to SEWA and the American Centre, for they gave us an experience of a lifetime by screening this film. In these hundred minutes, fixed in our seats and totally captivated by what we saw, we travelled with the girls across the world- to deserts, high mountains, cramped cities and even disaster hit areas. We experienced a plethora of emotions as we came across each girl’s story- awe, contempt, compassion, joy, sorrow, hope, despair, pride, euphoria! From having goose bumps, to moist eyes, to a content smile; I could feel it all.  All us SEWA girls were watching in silence, the struggle and success of the nine girls, separated from us (just)by the screen. But the undercurrents of a newly realised potential and a flame reignited were almost tangible. It became evident when every girl present there, expressed with a lot of fervour, how inspired they felt. The message through the stories of those girls had come across well. “There’s a Hero in all of us”, they said. The girls highlighted the pertinent issues related to women, especially education, and spoke about other social evils solemnly. They could somehow relate to the girls in the film and realised that the problems, unfortunately, are faced not just by women of their own country but by women worldwide. A noteworthy fact is that ultimately they were all convinced that hope and determination can bring a big change, a positive one at that. No matter how unfavourable the circumstances are, one should never give up on their efforts and hope. After all, beautiful wild flowers grow in the most unexpected and difficult places.

It was a moment of pride for all of us at SEWA, to see the girls stand up and speak for themselves. If this brilliant amalgamation of Art and Reality in the form of this film could do such wonders, more of such experiences should be brought to young girls with aspirations. The confidence and vigour that they radiated suggested of a revolution not too far in the future. They all had something precious to take back with them in the end. All they now need is their families by their side and a lot of opportunities to prove their worth...and sure then, will we RISE!

Well, my journey of the mentoring has not been so easy as I am still in a turmoil of what should be done. Initially i was very excited and enthusiastic of my new status and responsibility of being a mentor to someone who volunteeringly asked for it. Of course rapport formation takes time but who knew it would be like this. I was preparing myself for all the challenges and uncertainties. me and my mentee met once in a month or even it happened so that one whole month was skipped. Later on I got to know that she didn't understand that we had to meet every week of the month! Strange, yes ,very strange. I thought she was familiar with all the goals and frequency of meeting, still I explained it to her in different manners the importance and the goals of this programme. 

I thought maybe because of our differences she didn't open up to me as I was the one who was doing more of the talking , etc. I tried various ways to get her talking ,which I succeeded rarely! But i never gave up. I tried s hard to understand where i was wrong, what am i missing or not doing in order to fulfill my responsibility as a mentor. I frankly spoke to my mentee and told her that she could say anything to me at any point of time. She always just nodded. 

I spoke with my mentors , Tanvee and Violet, and I was disturbed as I wasn't able to figure out what was happening and where I was lacking. They suggested me with few things and I did so accordingly, but again no results. In fact, I was losing hope in this relationship because whatever I did was in vain. Till now I was thinking that I have some drawbacks in me, but later on I realised that it was my mentee who was not taking this programme seriously. 

Yes, there was a time when I said that I will quit, as everything I do is going in vain.

I couldn't take all that carelessness anymore as I gave my best to this programme. All I could say is that I gained an experience which I never expected of. Also, I am a true believer in the fact that whatever has happened , has happened for my own learning. At least, I am satisfied with my own efforts and hard work.

I am still holding on to some hope that things will change, no matter how tough it gets , I won't give up. But it is also true that at some point, a saturation happens and sometimes giving up is the only option. 

P.S. experience is an experience, no matter what path you choose or is chosen for you!...